I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize