so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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