A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
