Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
