that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I lost the right to judge tonight
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
