I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
