i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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