she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize