My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
