You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize