this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
