Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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