I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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