i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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