Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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