I bet he comes in French.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
