not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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