i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
