if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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