Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wish I only lived at night.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
