we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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