if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
