What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize