So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
