i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
