I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
