He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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