At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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