Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
