Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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