I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
