If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
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