Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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