Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
