she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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