Girls should come with a carfax report
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
