Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
