i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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