guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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