How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
