Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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