I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
