its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We left an ass print on the piano.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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