Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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