Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize