you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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