you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
