i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
