dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
