Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

You're completely useless in the revolution.

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(703): View more from Virginia

i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.

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(812): View more from Indiana

it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked

(1-812): View more from Indiana

tasteful.

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(239): View more from Florida

While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".

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(760): View more from California

i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"

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(314): View more from Missouri

He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.

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