Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
