The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
