also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
