i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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