Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Randomize