Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
