it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
