Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
No I am not eating basil off your cock
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
