these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
