Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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